I haven’t written anything on the blog for a month or so. In the blogging world, that’s centuries.

But I have an excuse, really. I had a whole load of personal stuff that needed to get sorted. It’s all behind me now so it’s time to move on.

We all know that if you go quiet in social media, people will forget you, whatever the value of your insights, whatever your brand value and all that tosh.

I’ll make up for the loss, fill in the gaps and move on to better and greater things.

So what’s your excuse?

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This is not a list of greatest ever books, just a selection totally subjective one from my bookshelf.

John Simmons – The Invisible Grail: How Brands Can Use Words to Engage with Audiences: This discusses how brands use words to engage with their audiences. It takes examples such as Innocent Drinks and Lush to show how they create not a visual identity but a narrative.

A Book About Innocent: Our Story and Some Things We’ve Learned: Not strictly a business writing book but a great example of how to write for and about a business.

Jonathan & Lisa Price – Hot Text: Web Writing That Works: a mine of information.

John Simmons – Dark Angels: How Writing Releases Creativity at Work: Is this a John Simmons love in? Probably.

David Ogilvy – Ogilvy on Advertising: This worked in a different age but so many of the truths in this book hold today.

Stephen King – On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft: Rightly or wrongly, I’ve never read a Stephen King novel and this is definitely not a business book, but it’s one of the best books I’ve read about writing generally.

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I was pretty good in French classes at school. I could write it well and understood most of the things that were put in front of me. When it came to speaking more than the stock answer that was expected of me however, it was torture. I was constantly looking for the perfect sentance rather than just getting the words out in the wrong order and risking falling flat on my face. Years later, my French assistant at the time still remembered trying to almost physically extract the words from me. Just how I was still talking to my French assistant (and still am) years later is a completely separate story that I may tell one day. The point here is that I was afraid of ridicule and was frustrated that I couldn’t express myself in the way I wanted.

After the end of my second year at university, I lived and worked in Paris for a couple of months. I remember going in on the first day and being shown the basics of what I was expected to do. After a couple of hours I was asked to pick up the phone. By then I was able to string together more than a few words, I could handle myself in a conversation, but speaking on the telephone in a foreign language is another level completely.

For two weeks I swam in a sea of words of which I only understood about 70%. I learnt technical vocabulary the hard way and lived by the seat of my pants using the words I did know to work out the ones I didn’t. I was ridiculed and complained at by the people I spoke to but I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask outright. I was taking this going native stuff seriously despite the problems it was causing me.

I lived in a chambermaid’s room on the fifth floor. The only washing facility was a wash basin on the room, so I often took a morning shower at the train station at Montparnasse. One morning I asked the rather imposing lady that officiated on the front desk if it was possible to have a “peignoir” (dressing gown) rather than a “peigne” (comb). The thunderous look she gave me had me convinced that I’d said something wrong so I didn’t persue the matter. It was only later when I was safely on the metro that I realised my error.

In another incident, a friend of mine had a cat with fleas (puces – beware if you’re scared by rude words here). She went to the chemist and asked for “quelque chose pour dépuceler ma chatte” ( I’d like something to “deflower” my fanny). I think the pharmacist kept a straight face and worked out what she wanted. Karen took it all in good humour although she may have been cringing internally.

Much more recently, I was on holiday in Spain in September and felt the same pangs of annoyance at having my extremely basic Spanish corrected. When I can’t think of a word I revert to French as though I’m thinking, “default foreign language = French”. My wife, on the other hand, hardly speaks a word of Spanish and really doesn’t care. She’d love to be able to speak it properly but certainly isn’t averse to pointing when required to get something she wants in a shop.

Ridicule is part of learning a language. I’ve got over it now mainly because I’m 30 years older and more mature, but I do know how excruciating it can be. Call it a rite of passage.

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Doffing my cap to the great John Simmons, these are lifted directly from his book We, Me, Them
& It about how to write powerfully for business. Why use a long word when a short one will do?
It’s clearer, less pretentious and saves air!

approximately – about
sufficient – enough
utilise – use
meet together – meet
on occasion – sometimes
commonly – often
frequently – often
is able to – can
is dependent on – depends on
prior to – before
in excess of – more than
methodology – method
purchase – buy
transportation – transport
additionally – and or also
whilst – while
amongst – among
in close proximity to – near
situated near – near
commencement – start
firstly – first
we will take appropriate action – we will do it

and a few of my own

facilitate – help
premier – best
fortuitous – lucky
and of course
110% – mathematical impossibility

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If you’re struggling to find the right direction for your advertising, here’s a quick and dirty guide to the fundamental questions to ask yourself.

What do you want to say?

This means determining your starting point. Identify what is the most important part of your product or service. What is your proposition? What is the promise? And most importantly, what is THE BENEFIT?

If you have just one, you’ll find that everything flows from it, others have done it before you. See what happens when you hang your offering on one word – Volvos are safe, FedEx is fast, Tango is, well, orange.

Think about  that last one. How do you distinguish a fizzy orange drink that is not Fanta? Genius.

More than one proposition will weaken your advertising message and an unclear proposition means an ad will lack focus.

Who are you talking to?

You can’t talk to everyone – unless you have very deep pockets. Your target audience will determine what to say and how to say it. We all know that they are broken down by things like age, income, education, interests and many others.

Your role is very much that of the advertiser in that you are playing a part – that of your (potential) customers.  Get into their heads. What is their relationship with your product or service. How, when or why would they use it? Or, if they have stopped using it, why?

How do you want to say it?

Having determined what you want to say and who your want to tell, now comes the fun bit. Who are you going to tell?

K.I.S.S: Keep It Simple Stupid. Never a truer word was said (well, four words actually). Although it’s not advertising, the best example of this maxim is Shakespeare’s “To be or not to be” All the human condition in 6 words and it has never been bettered.

Another way of looking at it is just get to the point. Don’t forget that you are intruding on people’s lives or (even worse perhaps), their work, so get it over with and get out fast.

Of course you can be over-simple to the point of being mundane. An ad that works is one that is unexpected, so be imaginative. Rather than writing “Starts every day” beside a car waiting in the snow, why not “Have you ever wondered why the man that drives the snow plough drives to the snow plough?” You’ve just turned a bland statement into a story that people can relate to” Result.

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With the greatest respect to designers, people don’t just look at Web sites because the pictures are pretty, it’s because they want to find something. Whether you want to provide information, a product or a service, words are still the best way we have of telling people what we do. So here are a few hints to organising those words so that they are read and understood.

1 – Write a strong headline that solves a problem

I see so many web pages that use “Welcome to my Website” as the headline. Polite, but lame. Your headline is a unique opportunity to stand out and grab your reader’s attention

2 – Talk to your audience

You do know what your target audience is don’t you? Talk to them and address their concerns.

3 – Be clear

Unless you’re talking to a specific audiences that understands your jargon, cut it out. Don’t bore them with too many details.

Suggest things to them and get them to ask you questions rather than giving them all the answers.

4 – Be brief, organised and relevant

Write short sentences organised under short headings and stay ON-BRAND. Talk about your products or services; features and benefits, features and benefits, features and benefits (and what did I say about features and benefits? did you get that?)

5 – It’s all about them, not you

People want to know what you can do for them; they don’t want a mission statement.

6 – Usability is the word

High-quality copy and relevant keywords will bring users to you. Work with a designer rather than separately and remember that users tend to scan Web copy rather than read it. They’re in a hurry.

7 – Write proper, plain English

That might sound obvious, but how many sites do you see (or direct mail for that matter) with sloppy spelling and even worse grammar? Spell checkers, whilst not infallible, are a minimum requirement. Failure to do this will make you look amateur. Then have someone else – not involved in your business – read it. Prepare to be offended.

8 – Calls to action

People won’t buy from your site unless you tell them to.

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